Girl on Fire

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Why We Do What We Do

Sometimes people ask why I do what I do, and over the past couple days I've gotten a great reminder. Life can be hard and tough and crazy and sometimes we all need to remember why it is that we are on the path that we are on.

After a long day of work yesterday and and my looming early morning wakeup call this morning, Saturday night called for a chill night, which in my opinion, are some of the best nights. Luckily my sister was in the mood for the same and tagged along for the evening. We decided on a new (to us) dinner spot, Grazie, which turned out to be fantastic. A cute, quaint wine and pizza bar, the evening monsoon was rolling in and we couldn't have asked for a better atmosphere to take in the clouds and some comfort food (the pizza was actually amazing!). We talked about life, laughed, and were just sisters, not Co-Owners of a balloon company for a few hours, which was so nice and so needed, as it is easy to get caught up in just work day to day.

Grazie pizza (yum!)

Post-dinner we decided to catch the new Keira Knightley movie, Begin Again, at the only theater we could find it playing at, the older, more indie theater, Camelview in Old Town Scottsdale. On the drive over, we spotted Steph's old stomping grounds, Sprinkles, where she used to work, and would routinely bring home Sunday night treats for our family dinners. "Do you want to?" Steph asked. It had been soooooo long since we'd had our once weekly tradition. "Of course!" I responded, and we had just enough time. Debating on which flavor of cupcake to get as we stood in line (I usually stick with my favorite red velvet, while Steph is a little more adventurous), I couldn't believe what I saw. I gasped so loud, I'm pretty sure everyone around us heard, but I didn't care. In the middle of a sea of regular dotted red velvet cupcakes (if you've been to Sprinkles you know what I'm talking about) was one with a cactus decoration on it. It felt so sentimental to me I could barely contain it.

My gorgeous Mom with her cactus cupcake

A couple of years ago in the middle of Fall, my Mom and I went to visit Steph while she was working at Sprinkles, and of course support the business (we had to right?!). I remember it like it was yesterday, my Mom and I waiting in line to see Steph, watching her with her bright, smiling face helping customers. My Mom was so proud of her daughter, and I was proud of my little sister. We each bought a cupcake from her and my Mom got a cupcake with the cactus decoration on it. I've never seen that decoration in Sprinkles since, literally for years...until yesterday. It was like my Mom was right there with me, reminding me what's important, and that my sister and I are carrying out her vision. I am so unbelievably lucky to get to see and work with my sister, and best friend, every day, and am so happy to have had my Mom for the time I did. My Mom and sister are the two people who I'm truly bonded with for life, my family. We might be small, but we are a family, and my Mom will ALWAYS be a part of that, whether down on the ground or up in heaven soaring the skies with the angels. She was, and is, the best thing that ever happened to my life and I can only hope to be half the woman she is.

My cactus red velvet cupcake from last night

Mom and I at Sprinkles visiting Steph

I teared up even as I went to sleep thinking about the sign I had that day, and looking at old photos, missing my Mom. Before I knew it my alarm was going off at 4am, and I didn't feel like moving. Sleep sounded so good, but we had a big group that I had been working with for months flying this morning, so I knew it was important to be out and about with the balloons. When I arrived I got bad news, weather wasn't looking good. My worst nightmare! I really hate disappointing people, especially with things that are out of my control, like Mother Nature. It was a mutual consensus that it was windy and there was a good possibility of canceling the flight. I cringed. We all went out to the launch site, 6 pilots, 16 crew and our group, and guess what? We flew. The winds calmed down, gear was unpacked and we got 6 balloons of smiling faces up in the beautiful sky.

This morning's flight

It clicked, this is why my Mom did it, and worked so hard, for those smiling faces and for our family. And that's why I do it. It's definitely not always easy, but my Mom, sister, our great passengers, amazing pilots, office staff and crew, you make everything worth it - keep being the awesome people you are :)

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Sorry

2013 was undoubtably the craziest year of my life. What I had deemed the "year of fun" turned out to be a year full of the highest highs, but also the lowest of lows I have, and may ever, experience. It's funny how it takes something so major to make you realize that the little things don't matter, to forget the past, to let go of the grudges you've been holding, to just let the small things just go - like am I really mad that the barista made my drink wrong? Am I really getting upset with my sister over something so insignificant? In the long run, there's no point in getting worked up, there are so many bigger things to get frustrated and upset about. I know if I looked back on all the times I took the little things in life too seriously, I would wish I wouldn't have been so stubborn or fought so hard over something that really doesn't matter, and just breathe and be happy.

Happiness is so fascinating isn't it? It's like a drug - it's so great when you have it, and you want it so badly when you don't. This year I've tried so hard to stay happy - some days are better than others, and most days I do pretty good, but today in the midst of a perfectly fine day I lost my happiness. I saw someone who I had hurt in the past, and I just haven't been able to bring myself to say sorry to. Tonight I found myself void of words, with the most horrible, anxious feeling in my stomach. I wanted to say sorry, but I just couldn't. I know I need to but I can't, why can't I just do it? I saw this person and just quickly turned the other way. Through this past year I've learned so much about myself, about who I am and who I want to be and I want to dedicate this next year to becoming the person I want to be - the person on the inside that I would like, that does the right things, is thoughtful, someone my Mom would be proud of. In doing that, I need to say I'm sorry to anyone I have hurt, recently or in the past. You don't have to accept it, but please know that causing hurt is never my intention. And to this one person I saw tonight, you know who you are, please accept my sincerest and deepest of apologies - you are a smart, beautiful and kind woman and I am so incredibly sorry for any pain that I may have caused you. You are a better person than I am, and I am truly, from the bottom of my heart, sorry. Until I find the words to tell you in person, please take this apology with you - I hope it means something.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Me Time

It may sound stupid, but every day one of the main things I look forward to is going to the gym. Though I go, of course, for my health and to stay in shape, my real motivation to go each day is to clear my head. My time working out is my de-stress time - my 'me' time - where no one can call me, there's no one to answer to, I can't think about anything that happened that day - it's just me, my body and my sweat. I usually don't feel like I got a good workout or really cleared my head unless I'm pushing myself all out, I can hardly breathe, and what I'm doing is really a challenge.

So as you can imagine, when I started taking yoga, this was a challenge for me - no cardio, no rushing yourself, relaxing your mind, focusing on your breathing, holding poses, lengthening muscles - this was all new to me. There is a class every Friday at 5:45pm which works pretty well with my schedule, so I thought I'd give it a shot - it'd be something new for my body and mind. At first I felt like I didn't fit in with all the 'yogis', and while I'm used to being advanced at most things athletic, I was starting in the 'beginner' poses, it was challenging and sometimes frustrating stabilizing yourself to hold some of the poses, I didn't understand their yogi lingo - you get it, I was out of my element. After pushing myself to go for a few Fridays in a row, I really started to enjoy yoga, and started to get better at it. I think it's the competitor in me - when I find something I'm not great at, I want to be great at it - to prove to all those people who say "I can't". Can't is not in my dictionary and never will be. Through consistently going more and working on my practice, I have actually begun to enjoy the weekly yoga sessions.

This past Friday I was so excited to leave work a little early and get to the gym to sneak in some cardio before yoga - as stupid as it sounds, I was looking forward to it all day. I actually left the office when I planned to (which never happens!) and I was on my way to start the weekend off right. One speed bump in my plans? Two accidents as I was driving home a.k.a an hour and a half commute to the gym. I was so unbelievably frustrated - I never get to leave work early, I've been skimping on my workouts lately because I've been working or tired, the one time I finally make time for myself this happens - the list went on and on. Needless to say I didn't get my pre-yoga cardio in and was rushing to even make it to yoga. Once I finally got to the gym, I threw on my clothes, put my hair up and was about to race up to the class when a woman stopped me. She came up to me and said, "I see you here every day, and I just want to let you know seeing you here every day, your dedication to being here, it really inspires me. There are so many things that get in the way, and it's so easy to say I don't want to go, but you really inspire me to be here and I just wanted to let you know". Of course, I graciously thanked her and told her that she made my day and we went our separate ways. I was in shock - me? I inspired someone? This put a huge smile on my face and I just let the worries of the day go. In the grand scheme of things, me being late, being frustrated about things out of my control, does no good for anyone - why should I waste my time being upset? I ran up to yoga, and it had just started - I made it! I set up my mat, threw off my shoes and joined in. I let everything go and just let my body and breathing take over, and you know what? It was the best yoga session I've had to date - it felt amazing.

What I learned from this? To not let the little frustrating things in life get to me - you only live once, and when all things are said and done, that moment won't matter. Though it's hard, there's no point in dwelling on things you cannot change - you can only move forward and upward. This also made me realize that I should not lose faith in people - you always hear about crazy things in the news and everything else, but there are still good ones out there - you just have to find them!

What is your de-stressor? I'd love to hear and try them out!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Living Like It's My Last

A few months ago I lost my mom unexpectedly to a freak plane accident, undoubtably the single hardest thing I have ever had to deal, and cope with, in my entire life. The funny thing is my mom loved flying - at the time of her passing she was actually on a training flight, studying to get her fixed wing pilot's license! Each week all I would hear her talk about was how many training flights she was going to do and how excited she was for them. She is and was the most fun-loving, strong, adventurous and contagiously enthusiastic person I have ever had the pleasure of having in my life. She is my inspiration on the kind of person I want to be, and the thought of her motivates me to get up and keep pushing through each day.

People ask if I'm scared of airplanes now, and without a hesitation my answer is "no". I think some are shocked by this, but you had to know my mom to understand she NEVER let fear deter her, she lived in spite of fear. And you know, I think she's happy the way that she went - doing what she loved, young, and with one of her close friends and co-workers. If I was going to go, I think that's how I would want it. She is always with me, my angel, helping me through each day - inspiring me to do what I think I can't and push my boundaries. I've found a new lease on life through her, and want to do all of the things she never got to, and things I personally have thought about, but maybe been too scared to do in the past. So maybe it's corny, but I've started a bucket list for my mom and I, and I hope this inspires at least one other person to do the things they have always wanted to do, because we've all heard it, but this has shown me how short life really is.

So here is my personal bucket list (which is constantly growing!) - let me know if any of you have bucket lists too!

Visit the pyramids in Egypt
Drive a Nascar race car
Randomly choose a destination at the airport and take a trip
Skydive
Visit Thailand for the Chiang Mai Yi Peng Sky Lantern Festival
Give someone deserving an unexpected $100 bill
Fly first class
Create my very own recipe
Write a book
Buy a pair of Christian Louboutins
Take my sister on a trip (I was going to do this for my mom for all the trips she's taken us on)
Become fluent in another language
Learn to sew clothing
Kiss in the rain
Go to India

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Inspired in 2013

I'm not sure about you, but I'm typically not one to make new years resolutions, as when they come to mind I think of the first month of each year when the gym is packed with newbies looking to get healthy for the new year and the following month when they have cleared out and gone back to their non-gym-going ways. It depresses me in a way, to see people with such motivation in the beginning let it fade and revert back to old habits. So when a friend of mine asked if I was making a new years resolution this year, I immediately responded, "No". "Why not?", they asked, obviously hearing the cynicism in my voice. "I just don't make them", I replied, in my typical over-sharing avoidance conversation style. This friend proceeded to tell me about each resolution they had made over the past few years and how they followed through with each, sounding so genuinely happy and proud of what they had accomplished, and excited to make this year's resolution. I guess I had never heard the other side, the few that actually stick with it and keep their resolutions. It was refreshing to hear that people with motivation and determination were around me, I had just been making assumptions (which I try so hard not to do!). And thus, I was inspired. So, for 2013 I am making a few resolutions and putting them out there for the world to see, so hopefully I can inspire someone, like this friend has inspired me, to work towards and achieve your goals.

Resolution #1: Give Back
Every year I find myself wanting to do something to give back to society. Whether we realize it or not, each of us is blessed in so many ways - personally, I have all my limbs and am not physically restricted, I have no mental disabilities, I have a roof over my head, a job, a car, food to eat each day, etc. It is so easy to take each of these things for granted, and forget about those who have not had the same opportunities, or been as fortunate. Each year there seems to be an excuse that gets in the way of me actually volunteering and giving back ("I'm too busy", "I don't have time"), but guess what? Excuses can be made for everything, and I'm not making excuses any more.This year, I am vowing to dedicate a minimum of 1 day a month towards volunteer/charity work, and am truly looking forward to it.

Resolution #2: Get Out Of My Comfort Zone
I've been slowly reading the book, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, over the past year, in an effort to make myself the happiest I can possibly be, and have learned a lot. Research presented in this book reveals that challenge and novelty are two key elements of happiness. Rubin says, "This is one of the many paradoxes of happiness: we seek to control our lives, but the unfamiliar and unexpected are important sources of happiness...The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. If you do new things - visit a museum for the first time, learn a new game, travel to a new place, meet new people - you're more apt to feel happy than people who stick to more familiar activities." So, in an effort to be my best, and happiest self, this year I am going to say yes more, take more risks, try new things, and explore all the different things this beautiful world has to offer.

Resolution #3: Dedicate Everything to My Business
A couple months ago I left my job at Dillard's as an Assistant Buyer to start my own personal shopping and styling business. It was a tough decision, but something I thought would personally fulfill me, and a place in the market where I feel that I can bring value. I've been working towards opening ever since I left Dillard's, but it has proven to be a lot of work, and taken more time than I had expected. That being said, even though it is tough and requires a lot from me, I want to put everything into my business this year. Personal styling is something I am so passionate about and if I don't give this my all, I know I'll regret it. This is the year for me to give everything I've got, no matter how scared or overwhelmed I may be.

So here's to 2013, a new year full of opportunities!

I'd love to hear if anyone else has been inspired like me and hear about your resolutions - leave me a comment!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Xmas Lust List

So every year I come up with a list of things I'm lusting after , just in time for Christmas ;)

And this year is no exception! I've scoured the Internet and all my favorite stores to come up with the 2012 'most lusted' items I'm still drooling over. I figured I'd share this with you all in case you haven't yet found the perfect gift for the fashionista or special lady in your life - hope it gives you some ideas! I'm so frustrated though because I went through and made each lust item clickable to take you directly to the link to purchase, but it doesn't work in Blogger :( Tragic.

Needless to say, here it is! And here are the links to purchase each item (listed from top):

Victor & Rolf Flowerbomb Perfume

http://www.sephora.com/product/productDetail.jsp?skuId=1233139&productId=P255506&_requestid=25071#!keyword=VIKTOR%20%26%20ROLF%20Flowerbomb%20P255506

Michael Kors Rose Golden Oversized Chronograph Watch

http://www.michaelkors.com/p/Michael-Kors-Michael-KorsRose-Golden-Oversized-Chronograph-Watch-ROSE-GOLDEN/prod4760009_cat35801_cat35701_/?index=10&cmCat=cat000000cat145cat35701cat35801&isEditorial=false

MacBook Air

http://www.apple.com/macbookair/

Victoria's Secret Peep-Toe Platform Pump

http://www.victoriassecret.com/shoes/pumps-and-heels/peep-toe-platform-pump-colin-stuart?ProductID=61351&CatalogueType=OLS

Lululemon Forme Herringbone Jacket

http://shop.lululemon.com/products/clothes-accessories/women-jackets-and-hoodies/Forme-Jacket-Herringbone?cc=9268&skuId=3474279&catId=women-jackets-and-hoodies

Kate Spade Pop Fizz Clink Silicone iPhone Case